After we learned that Lovie was pregnant, but before we knew she was carrying triplets, I had the typical anxieties one might expect from a soon-to-be, first-time biological dad. But I shook off those concerns in part by embracing a philosophy that I shared one day with a close friend.
“It’s like this,” I explained. “I’m at the poker table of Parenting and I’m playing Texas Hold ‘Em. I’ve gotten my cards, but I haven’t yet taken a peek. Because it really doesn’t matter what I’ve got. I’m all in. No matter what.”
Erik Linthorst, an award winning documentary filmmaker and produced screenwriter, has a similar philosophy. “When you have a child,” he begins, “you’re sort of throwing the dice to the universe saying Bring it on. I’m not sure you’re gonna give me, but I’m ready for it.‘ “
The cards Lovie and I were dealt yielded triplets. The dice Erik and wife Jennie threw? It was hard to say exactly what they landed on. At first, it seemed like a normal, healthy baby. Their son, Graham, met all of his early developmental milestones.
But by the time Graham was seventeen months old, Erik and Jennie began to suspect something wasn’t quite right with him. So they turned to the world of medical experts and therapists where they received contradicting opinions. “Their son was autistic. Sort of. Maybe. Some called him autistic-like. Others insisted he wasn’t autistic at all.”
Autistic-Like: Graham’s Story is a compelling and intimate look inside the life of a family trying to attach clarity to a fuzzy diagnosis. It chronicles one dad’s attempt to find the “right therapies, the right doctors, and even the right words to describe his son.”
I strongly encourage each of you to take three minutes to view the trailer below. Afterward, please visit the documentary’s website where you can purchase your own DVD of the documentary. You’ll quickly understand why it has screened in over 125 cities around the world, helping raise over $30,000 for special needs organizations.
Nothing is more beautiful than unconditional love, y’all. Except, perhaps, the incredible lengths it will drive a parent to go. That’s why this project comes with my highest recommendation. And, for the record, I received nothing for this endorsement, except, of course, the satisfaction derived by recognizing and highlighting excellence.
Jennie, Erik, Graham, may God bless you all.
All quotes for this post were pulled directly from the trailer or website.
Going to repost this. Very intriguing! I wonder what the percentage of false diagnosis is with autism. And I wonder how many cases are missed. I’d suspect a lot of kids probably have something else but it gets labeled as autism for lack of a better word. It’s a little bit of a sad commentary on the state of the medical profession that it seems more important to label a disease than to just try to make the patient better — a one size fits all approach to medicine.
keith, i really appreciate you reposting this. i, too, found it intriguing. one of the big problems with our bureaucratic health care is this “one size fits all” approach you referred to. better to diagnose incorrectly than not at all to keep the machine chugging right along. or so it seems.
Wow, as a parent of a child diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, I find this sad not once in this trailer did I see this boy have any syptoms of anthing autistic, not sure how he was diagnosed with autism, sure would be interesting to find out!!
i agree. it would be interesting to find out how this happens. that’s why i ordered the DVD. to me, there are two stories here. a touching, personal one about a brave and determined dad who’s leading his family through a maze of confusion to what they all hope is a place of understanding exactly what it is, if anything, they’re up against.
the other story is a broader one that will speak to how it is, exactly, this kind of thing can happen.
best of luck with your situation. thank you very much for reading about Graham.
Thanks, John. This is a post that makes you think and feel. I’m going to tweet this and put it on my fb page. Thanks again.
thank you so much for tweeting this and posting it to your FB. much appreciated. this story is beyond compelling to me for several reasons. i’m glad it resonated with you, too.
as a mom of triplets, 2 with autism, I did see a number of stimming behaviors that are indicative of autism in that video. Autism is a spectrum syndrome. with 2 of my triplets both diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, I can tell you that they boh exhibit different symptoms. I think there is a HUGE ignorance regarding autism by the public at large and often phyisicans, namly pediatrcians. Getting a diagnosis early is not simply to have a name to a syndrome, for the sake of it. A diagnosis means these kids can get the help they need when they need it. Kids brains are far more malleable at age 1-3 yrs than even after age 5, when behaviors are engrained and harder to change. If a 3 yr old can’t talk and isn’t playing appropriately or socializing, the main goal is to get that child help asap.
we have taken a markedly dfferent approach than this family, and likely would agree on little. Nevertheless, kudos to them for being proactive for their little guy. It is absolutely imperative that parents take the lead b/c the medical community, and even the special ed commuity are intent on doing what has always been done, and they continue to get the same results.
We are blessed to be able to say that our children are recovering. My daughter will likely lose her autism diagnosis when she is re-evaluated this fall. That is NOT to say she never had autism. She absolutely had a boat load of symptoms, and was unquestionably autistic, and through a great deal of work–OT,PT, Speech, SpecialEd Pre-k, GFCF diet for 3 yrs, biomedical treatment for 3 yrs and no small miracle, she is healing. My son is right behind her. So in short, there are many unknowns, but anything that calls attention to the Autism epidemic is aces in my book.
wow. so much here. first off, reading your words gave me chills. couldn’t agree w. you any more about parents taking the lead. that’s probably the biggest thing i’ve learned since delving deeper into this particular documentary. i can’t wait til my DVD gets here!
hats off to you and your entire family for muscling through this. much love and luck to your daughter as this fall’s evaluation approaches. the same love and luck to your son, you, and your entire family.
thank you so much reading, as well as for leaving such a well articulated comment.
I often wonder if I had taken my eldest in to a different, more forward doctor, if he would have been diagnosed on the spectrum. He certainly has/had enough of the issues to qualify for it. As of right now, he is my “high needs/maintenance” child who is being homeschooled so that his world is a little less chaotic and a little more in-tune with his personality.
Good luck to their family and to everyone whose child is just a little bit different. It’s difficult to explain it to people who haven’t been through it.
John, I don’t know if you know this, but I have a special love /interest of kids with special needs, particularly the “spectrum”. I agree this little guy doesn’t appear to have many of the “typical” autistic like behaviors on the trailer, and I will buy the video AND find a way to get in touch with his sweet mama, whom I love. The other thing I want to say, for the record, as a pediatrician, is that I too believe autism is currently being over diagnosed, just as bipolar disorder in children was a decade ago. It is the current ” in vogue” diagnosis. That said, kids that have autistic spectrum or sensory integration disordered behaviors DO benefit from therapy, and the more and the earlier, the better. Our resources here in this city are growing and becoming better and better, thank God, and we have Vanderbilt and Greenville, SC behavioral Peds depts within a half day’s. Drive from here. Awesome. I will look forward to watching the video, and if YOU need ANYTHING, do not hesitate to call me!!! love you, my old, dear friend,
Abby
abby, you write:
I too believe autism is currently being over diagnosed, just as bipolar disorder in children was a decade ago. It is the current ” in vogue” diagnosis. That said, kids that have autistic spectrum or sensory integration disordered behaviors DO benefit from therapy, and the more and the earlier, the better.
and i thank you for this perspective. your message is not lost. it’s from the other side, the one being accused of too frequently diagnosing it. and it reminds us that the medical community is doing the best it can, especially in trying to get going on treatment quickly.
it’s so great that you have such special love for the spectrum. i do, too, though (obviously) am not in a professional position to do much about it. you are, and i bet you do a wonderful job.
thanks for your comment, abby!
I’m so grateful that you posted this. I try to keep up on any new studies, news, or just about anything else related to autism. I’m somewhat surprised that this one slipped by me, but luckily, you caught it and passed it along.
Now I can do the same.
joe,
please do spread the word! it’s an incredible story.
This is amazing. I don’t know any parent without this fear. We all watch like hawks now to see those tell-tale signs we’ve been warned about. Perhaps when we’re looking so hard it becomes easier to see something that isn’t there?
Perhaps that’s what the medical community is doing as well?
What a gorgeous family. The moments with father and son had tears in my eyes. I can’t wait to see how it all turns out.
[…] second autism related trailer comes to me from a blogging friend of mine, John Cave Osborn, who found this clip about a kid named Graham who was diagnosed with Autism, but his parents think […]
Thanks for pointing me to this, John. And yeah… I know how they feel. When there are those little things and the clues but nothing definite, it’s frustrating as all get out. And I saw the stimming in the trailer – I, too, have the child who will laugh and connect and be there with you … and then he’s not. I’ll have to look for this video – have you seen it since?
i’ve ordered it, but have not watched it yet. looking fwd to doing so and will let you know what i think of it.